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Our last post touched on how to submit when your husband isn’t leading, but what if your husband is leading you, only in the wrong direction? Before I dive into this topic, I want to first explain a little about covering.
When your husband places himself under God’s authority, and you likewise, have submitted to your husband, the umbrella of protection looks something like my wonderful artwork above. Artist I am not, but you get the idea. So when life ‘rains’ down, you can rest under the shelter of your husband as well as God’s unfailing covering.
But what happens when your husband steps out in disobedience? (In this post, I’m talking about husbands who are saved, but have stepped out of God’s will in some area. I’ll talk about unsaved husbands in another post, as that looks a little different.)
So what happens? You remain under the safety of God’s umbrella – in the shelter of his arms. Your obedience to God keeps you covered. This doesn’t mean that consequences won’t come along, but God will protect you, and give you peace as you walk through it. Your faithfulness provides a way for God to work in the situation, and in your husband’s heart.
In Genesis 20:1-18, we have an interesting scenario. Abraham is afraid that the people in Gerar will kill him for his wife. So he says to her, “This is the kindness which you will show to me: everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.”” I have a feeling Sarah saw her husband’s fear, recognized that he wasn’t trusting God to protect them, and had her doubts about his plan. Yet, she submitted to it.
And King Abimelech took a liking to her, and had her brought to him. Can you imagine being Sarah? What do you do now? What do you think Abraham was thinking? He knows he’s to blame for his wife’s predicament. In his fear for his own life, he failed to protect her.
I imagine they both prayed fervently for God to intervene, and he did. He came to Abimelech in a dream, and shook him up. Not only did Abraham get his wife back, but he was given sheep, oxen, servants, and land. Now here’s something interesting: “To Sarah he (Abimelech) said, “Behold, I have given your brother a thousand pieces of silver; behold, it is your vindication before all who are with you, and before all men you are cleared.” Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech and his wife and his maids, so that they bore children. For the LORD had closed fast all the wombs of the household of Abimelech because of Sarah, Abraham’s wife.”
Ladies, Sarah was not only protected, but vindicated. She remained faithful; kept herself under God’s protection until Abraham restored the covering back over himself, too. God will make a way for you, too. Listen for his voice in your situation, and follow his lead. Often, he will have you submit to your husband, trusting God for the outcome.
Your husband knows when he’s making the wrong decision, and your submission will nag at him far more than your voice ever could. Sometimes when we fight our husbands even when they know they are wrong, and we are right, they will feel justified in making the decision. I know it doesn’t make sense, but human nature wants it’s own way, and will use even the flimsiest of excuses to get it. Your quiet submission will convict him. The consequence will discipline him. God will restore him.
Steps to take when you husband disobeys God:
~ Pray first. Then pray throughout the situation.
~ Look for an opportunity to share your heart on the matter.
~ Encourage him to make the right choice. If he still makes the wrong decision, God will direct you one of two ways:
* Either he will have you submit to your husband’s leadership,
* or he will have you quietly stand firm on what is right. No nagging, no yelling, no fighting. A quiet, firm resolution bathed in prayer and compassion.
~ Extend grace as your husband struggles with the consequences of stepping out from God’s will
~ Forgive him immediately, and let him know you have forgiven him when he softens his heart, and steps back under God’s headship.
~ Rest in the shelter of God’s arms, and praise him when all is restored.
Call to Action:
Ladies, it is so important to be in constant prayer for our husbands. Make an effort to develop a daily habit of praying each day for your husband, for his leadership, and for you to be the wife God knows he needs. Remember to rest in faith when needed.
Coming up: Submission and the Unsaved Husband, Abuse and Submission, and Submission When Unmarried? If anyone has any questions on what I’ve written in the series so far, or about anything related, please feel free to ask! I’ll do my best to answer.
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All wedding photographs on this post were taken and are copyrighted by Markle Memories Photography.