I love standing outside when when a storm is brewing. A strange current surrounds you filling you with anticipation. The wind ruffles your hair, and even in the movement there is a stillness settling over everything. And then big fat drops plunk down one by one, and you grin. You smile wide because you knew it was coming, and nature didn’t disappoint. Arms raise, face turns up, and a deep embracing of life cleanses you. Life. Is. Good.
This is how I feel as I look towards the next year. Changes are coming. A current is in the air. And I will embrace this because life and Life are good. Here in this place before the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013, I straddle the boundaries between the years. I look back over the tracks I’ve made in life, and I look forward to the trail still ahead of me.
In the past, I’ve looked back with eyes fixed on failures, and looked forward seeing a clean slate as if I can truly start life over. But I can’t. And I find I don’t want to anymore. Recently, I read a post on my friend Angela’s blog, and one question stood out: “Why do I get caught up in the idea that my own journey isn’t good enough?”
This is my journey and it’s been full. Full of love and hate. Joy and sadness. Pain and healing. So much history shaping me into who I am today. And that journey is amazing in all it’s complexity. Marriage, motherhood, faith…so much of me in this journey. So why do I try to adopt another’s journey for my own? I know I walk to a different beat, and I choose to embrace that.
Today as I look back, I see a crazy life filled with both mistakes and successes all combined into memorable moments. As I look forward, I don’t see a clean slate, but a continuing in this journey. MY journey. Unique to me. I raise my arms and turn my face up to the Lord, and say, yes! I embrace deep this path you’ve set my feet on.
Anticipation fills me. I wait in this moving stillness for each big fat drop of life to rain down on me in 2013. Cleansing. Good.