I Corinthians 13:4-8a (ESV)
One of the fun things about being married is coming up with fun ways to say I Love You. But sometimes it’s the quiet everyday moments that relay that message the best. Here are six, simple ways to show your spouse love:
Love is patient and kind;
Honestly, I know this sounds simplistic (isn’t that the point of this–simple expressions of love?), but really listening says I Love you in a big way. Listen to understand. Listen to enjoy the sound of his voice. Listen to watch the expressions flitting across his face. Just listen. Hear his heart.
love does not envy or boast;
On the heels of listening is encouraging your husband. So often we say what we think without thinking about what we’re saying. We have the power to raise up, or tear down. It’s okay for our husbands to have a different perspective. We can usually learn something valuable from that. So listen, but when it’s time to speak, be wise. Choose words of life. It’s okay to disagree, but take time to explain why in a loving way.
it is not arrogant or rude.
Sometimes I can be so my way or else, buddy. It’s an ugly attitude. I can show love by remembering we are a team. We both have the same end goals in mind–a close family. We may have differing ideas of what that looks like sometimes, but taking the time to listen to each other’s ideas, and then coming up with a plan together is far more effective than fighting for our own, individual ways.
It does not insist on its own way;
I often look at my husband–just because. I love the curl of his dark hair on the nape of his neck, his thick eyelashes, his gorgeous blue/green almost clear eyes. I notice these things because I care. I also care about what he cares about: his work, clean clothes, tidy house. I’m still working on showing him how much I care by doing things for him. I’ll be honest, I can be real lazy sometimes. But this comes across as not caring about him. Or about how hard he works so I can stay home. So I can have a beautiful home. Nice things. Caring for someone takes action. I’m learning.
it is not irritable or resentful;
Too many times we try to change something about our husbands. Like he’s a project. Ladies, when we do this, we are sending a clear message of rejection. You are in essence rejecting that part of him you are trying to change. Accept him for who he is–flaws and all. Just as you want to be accepted. Let God work out the changes. If something truly bothers you, pray about it. You will either see your husband changing, or your own heart will be brought in line. God created your man to be unique. He has a purpose set forth by God. Who are we to interfere with his growing and changing in the Lord? I, personally, do not want to be in God’s way. Been there. Done that.
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Men crave and need respect. This speaks love to them. How do we show respect? Well, the five ideas I shared all lead to showing respect for our husbands. Respect him by listening more, speaking encouragement, compromising when needed, caring about him and what he cares about, and accepting him for who he is–these things work together to say “I respect you”.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
I have not always followed these simple ways to show my husband I love him. In fact, I’ve caused a lot of damage over the years by being a selfish women. I got in God’s way big time. I was so wrong. But God is faithful, and he loves my husband even more than I do. He knows what my husband needs and desires. It’s my job to pray, obey Christ, and observe my husband. I need to know him.
Love never ends.
Marriage takes a putting aside of my own agenda, and accepting our combined goals. It’s a listening more to the Lord’s leading as I strive to be a better wife. I want to encourage you to make changes where you need to, and begin to partner with the Lord and with your husband. This is love.